I am bored.
Nothing interestingly original ever happens. Nothing. It's always the same. The cycle continues to spin us all in a dizzy state of nausea and vertigo. Vomit flying everywhere, and shit stuck on pants. Coloured pants, I might add.
Speaking of coloured pants, they are annoying. They don't look good. They are ugly and a bane to the existance of pants everywhere. I'm not saying it's wrong to wear coloured pants, i'm just saying it annoys me. And everyone else with a sensible mind.
Everything these days get recycled. Trash gets recycled. Everything i see on film and television are recycled ideas, and they're still trash. Movies and TV shows have formulatic plots that are too old, too cliche, and too boring. It's the same story over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Brillante Mendoza's (he's brillant!) movies win awards, his last film won Best Director at the 62nd Cannes Film Festival, but his films are not even allowed to screen here in the Philippines. BULLSHIT. The Metro Manila Film Festival bases it's winners on the number of tickets sold, not on the quality of the film. ANOTHER HOT PIECE OF BULLSHIT! Good gum, what is wrong with our beloved country? Television shows run longer than the story. A show should have ended ages ago, but greedy executives decide to continue the show just to get more money. The show gets crappier and crappier, but they continue to milk the cash cow anyway. Why? BECAUSE OF THE DAMN MONEY! That's why.
The news. When the government fucks up, it's the talk of the town. The government wants to change the constitution, you get rallies everywhere. The president spends too much on dinner, everyone and their grandmother protests. But is anything done to resolve this? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Why? BECAUSE NOBODY LISTENS! THE DAMNED ARSEHOLES WITH POWER DON'T GIVE A FLAMING SHIT! And that flaming shit might help warm up some homes.
The cycle continues to spin. And we're getting dizzier by the minute.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The Wonderful World of Public Toilets
The glory that is the public toilet. A world where creatures great and microscopic thrive. Let me take you on a ride. A safari of this wonderful thing that shit call "home".
THE BASICS
ANATOMY
Most public toilets have the following parts:
*door (optional)
*toilet bowl (optional)
*water and tissue paper (optional)
*walls (optional)
*lavatory (again, optional)
Do note that i'm talking about public toilets that are meant to last long, not portable toilets you find in concerts and construction sites. They'll be discussed some other time.
GEOGRAPHICAL DISTRIBUTION
These toilets can be found virtually anywhere humans can be found. Schools and universities, malls, arenas, theaters, gasoline stations, etc. They seem to exhibit a symbiotic relationship, where the humans relieve themselves in them, while they feed from what the humans leave.
SEXES
MALE
This is the so-called Twilight Zone, children. This is where normal things don't happen very often. The male of the species gives off a strong scent, perhaps to defend itself from intruders, or perhaps to attract further victims. It's stained with urine and the toilet bowls are unflushed. It is marked by vandalism as camouflage. It has the distinct feature of the Urinal, for only male humans are able to use such devices. The Gasoline Station variety has the reputation of being filthly and horrible, and they live up to this reputation. Surely, this beast is prepared for anything.
FEMALE
Little is known about the female of the Public Toilet. It is said to be the meeting place of female homo sapiens to exchange information(read: gossip) and to add colour to their facial features. It smells better than the male toilet, but nonetheless, it is still subject to the same conditions as the males. It lacks the Urinal, for female humans do not have the adequate organs to urinate standing up.
[EDIT]:
As people from Facebook's Goth Group pointed out, females may lack the organs, but are still capable of urinating standing up.
I believe them now. They've got proof.
Here's the video:
USES AND FUNCTIONS
The Public Toilet is mainly used by humans for the expulsion of body wastes, whilst in the vicinity of a public area. It acts as a foster Toilet already found in the human home.
In rare cases, the Public Toilet is used as a changing room, or an area for sexual activities, or as a canvass of graffiti that the Toilet, in turn, uses as protection.
This journey will continue by request.
THE BASICS
ANATOMY
Most public toilets have the following parts:
*door (optional)
*toilet bowl (optional)
*water and tissue paper (optional)
*walls (optional)
*lavatory (again, optional)
Do note that i'm talking about public toilets that are meant to last long, not portable toilets you find in concerts and construction sites. They'll be discussed some other time.
GEOGRAPHICAL DISTRIBUTION
These toilets can be found virtually anywhere humans can be found. Schools and universities, malls, arenas, theaters, gasoline stations, etc. They seem to exhibit a symbiotic relationship, where the humans relieve themselves in them, while they feed from what the humans leave.
SEXES
MALE
This is the so-called Twilight Zone, children. This is where normal things don't happen very often. The male of the species gives off a strong scent, perhaps to defend itself from intruders, or perhaps to attract further victims. It's stained with urine and the toilet bowls are unflushed. It is marked by vandalism as camouflage. It has the distinct feature of the Urinal, for only male humans are able to use such devices. The Gasoline Station variety has the reputation of being filthly and horrible, and they live up to this reputation. Surely, this beast is prepared for anything.
FEMALE
Little is known about the female of the Public Toilet. It is said to be the meeting place of female homo sapiens to exchange information(read: gossip) and to add colour to their facial features. It smells better than the male toilet, but nonetheless, it is still subject to the same conditions as the males. It lacks the Urinal, for female humans do not have the adequate organs to urinate standing up.
[EDIT]:
As people from Facebook's Goth Group pointed out, females may lack the organs, but are still capable of urinating standing up.
I believe them now. They've got proof.
Here's the video:
USES AND FUNCTIONS
The Public Toilet is mainly used by humans for the expulsion of body wastes, whilst in the vicinity of a public area. It acts as a foster Toilet already found in the human home.
In rare cases, the Public Toilet is used as a changing room, or an area for sexual activities, or as a canvass of graffiti that the Toilet, in turn, uses as protection.
This journey will continue by request.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I Can't Think of a Title
I have decided to write normal blogs in between posts of Collide-o-scope Eyes. Don't worry though, consider it a break in the routine. Besides, writing fiction is hard business, so writing non-fiction gives me a breather.
Fiction mainly revolves around making shit up (obviously), and making "good" shit up is a hard thing to do if you're stressed. Or tired. Or uninspired. Or bored. Or disturbed (not crazy/disturbed, but pestered/disturbed). Or angry.
Non-fiction on the other hand, is a bit fairly easier to write. One reason: it's real, and you can't make reality stuff up (unless you work for reality shows). Just honesty, that's all. I have one problem though, my reality and fiction usually get mixed up. I'm not even sure if this is real.
That is all.
The Ghostwriter
Fiction mainly revolves around making shit up (obviously), and making "good" shit up is a hard thing to do if you're stressed. Or tired. Or uninspired. Or bored. Or disturbed (not crazy/disturbed, but pestered/disturbed). Or angry.
Non-fiction on the other hand, is a bit fairly easier to write. One reason: it's real, and you can't make reality stuff up (unless you work for reality shows). Just honesty, that's all. I have one problem though, my reality and fiction usually get mixed up. I'm not even sure if this is real.
That is all.
The Ghostwriter
Friday, September 25, 2009
Collide-o-scope Eyes part 5
This is a part of the Collide-o-scope Eyes series. Click here if to read part 1
Wednesday morning at 5 o'clock as the day begins. Woke up, fell out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. Went downstairs and had a cup. Looking up, i noticed i was late. Late for what?
I forgot i was out of the case. I need to do something to let the time pass. I shot my wall. Why the fuck did i do that?
I was fixing a hole where the bullet went in to stop my mind from wandering. Boredom can make a man mad. The idle mind is the devil's playground, and all that jazzy shit. It doesn't really matter when i'm wrong, i know i'm right. That Lady Madonna was behind all this. Shit.
My mobile rang. Unknown number. Let me guess, the Walrus?
"Hello? Walrus? Is that you?"
"No. It's me, Mr. Kite."
"My mistake. What is it? For you to know, i'm out of the case, so don't bother me with anything related to it."
"Oh, it's nothing about that. I don't really care about the money. It can't buy me love. Lady Madonna proved to me that."
"Heh." That was all i could say.
"Cheeky bastard. Get over here, i've got something to show you."
"You're going nowhere, man. What are you talking about?"
"Something."
"I'll be on my way."
He hung up.
Okey, what the fuck was that all about? I'm sick and tired of riddles. I don't want to look through a glass onion again. FUCK. My mind was a mess.
Found my coat and grabbed my hat. Good thing i caught the bus. My car had a flat.
This is gonna be a long and winding road.
to be continued
Wednesday morning at 5 o'clock as the day begins. Woke up, fell out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. Went downstairs and had a cup. Looking up, i noticed i was late. Late for what?
I forgot i was out of the case. I need to do something to let the time pass. I shot my wall. Why the fuck did i do that?
I was fixing a hole where the bullet went in to stop my mind from wandering. Boredom can make a man mad. The idle mind is the devil's playground, and all that jazzy shit. It doesn't really matter when i'm wrong, i know i'm right. That Lady Madonna was behind all this. Shit.
My mobile rang. Unknown number. Let me guess, the Walrus?
"Hello? Walrus? Is that you?"
"No. It's me, Mr. Kite."
"My mistake. What is it? For you to know, i'm out of the case, so don't bother me with anything related to it."
"Oh, it's nothing about that. I don't really care about the money. It can't buy me love. Lady Madonna proved to me that."
"Heh." That was all i could say.
"Cheeky bastard. Get over here, i've got something to show you."
"You're going nowhere, man. What are you talking about?"
"Something."
"I'll be on my way."
He hung up.
Okey, what the fuck was that all about? I'm sick and tired of riddles. I don't want to look through a glass onion again. FUCK. My mind was a mess.
Found my coat and grabbed my hat. Good thing i caught the bus. My car had a flat.
This is gonna be a long and winding road.
to be continued
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Music and Me
I like music. Who doesn't? Well, maybe that douchebag thinks that music is a waste of time, but that's beside the point.
When i was just in first grade, my first instrument was a tremelo harmonica. A Hero Harmonica with 32 holes(16 double reed). I lost interest, and playing was forgotten for a while.
In fourth grade, i still didn't know much about bands and rock and roll. My dad turned on the radio one sunday, and the DJ played A Hard Days Night. That's when i discovered the Beatles for the very first time. As i grew older, my love for music grew.
High School. I started to listen to The Cure. And Nirvana. And Metallica. And Oasis. Even listened to the occasional hip-hop track. Basically, i was into rock. I discovered Daft Punk, Bloc Party, Radioactive Sago Project, and Eraserheads. Basically, i liked stuff kids at my school would never listen to. I never did like pop. Pop will always be low-brow. I hated Aqua. I loathed the sound of Rap-metal. It was the bastard child of two great music genres. FUCK YOU LIMP BIZKIT. I AM DISGUSTED BY YOUR MUSIC.
College. My Beatles obsession took over me. Sported a moptop (an "Arthur", if you will), and made it grow long. When it was the right length, i backcombed it. I started to resemble Robert Smith. Music took over my fashion sense. Wore nothing but black, but i stayed away from make up. I already look naturally pale.
Now, i'm beginning to learn guitar and bass guitar, and bought myself a new harmonica (another tremelo. a diatonic is hard to find in my area). Might start a band soon, once i master my instruments.
Until then, i'll be creating poems and songs.
When i was just in first grade, my first instrument was a tremelo harmonica. A Hero Harmonica with 32 holes(16 double reed). I lost interest, and playing was forgotten for a while.
In fourth grade, i still didn't know much about bands and rock and roll. My dad turned on the radio one sunday, and the DJ played A Hard Days Night. That's when i discovered the Beatles for the very first time. As i grew older, my love for music grew.
High School. I started to listen to The Cure. And Nirvana. And Metallica. And Oasis. Even listened to the occasional hip-hop track. Basically, i was into rock. I discovered Daft Punk, Bloc Party, Radioactive Sago Project, and Eraserheads. Basically, i liked stuff kids at my school would never listen to. I never did like pop. Pop will always be low-brow. I hated Aqua. I loathed the sound of Rap-metal. It was the bastard child of two great music genres. FUCK YOU LIMP BIZKIT. I AM DISGUSTED BY YOUR MUSIC.
College. My Beatles obsession took over me. Sported a moptop (an "Arthur", if you will), and made it grow long. When it was the right length, i backcombed it. I started to resemble Robert Smith. Music took over my fashion sense. Wore nothing but black, but i stayed away from make up. I already look naturally pale.
Now, i'm beginning to learn guitar and bass guitar, and bought myself a new harmonica (another tremelo. a diatonic is hard to find in my area). Might start a band soon, once i master my instruments.
Until then, i'll be creating poems and songs.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Collide-o-scope Eyes part 4
this is part 4 of Collide-o-scope Eyes. To read the beginning, click here.
I woke up in a hospital bed. The pretty nurse was selling poppies from a tray. Why the fuck was she doing that anyway?
Aside from the nurse, no one else was there. The nurse went out of the room. I'm all alone now. I really need some Coca-cola right now.
Sgt. Pepper entered the room, with a basket of green apples in hand. The damn blue meanie, he knows i fucking hate green apples. Fuckwit.
"I read the news today."
"Oh boy." I knew he was joking. He NEVER reads the newspaper. He'd rather hear it from the barber on Penny Lane.
"So, how are Hal?"
"I'm in a damn hospital bed, damn it. Isn't it obvious? I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY DAMN BLOODY LIFE!" No, i wasn't using sarcasm in that remark. I really was enjoying myself in the hospital bed. Gotta get myself some relaxation. Might even start a revolution from here.
"Fuck you. Well, any developments on the Mr. Kite case?"
"Lady Madonna. That's what. Go after her. She confessed."
"On record?"
"N-no." SHIT!
"We've got nothing then. You're out of the case. Get well soon." He left the room. I couldn't say anything after that. Shit.
*****
After a week in the hospital, i went straight home. It's been a hard days night, and i've been working like a bitch. Shit shit shit shit shit.
I lay in bed again. I give up.
to be continued.
I woke up in a hospital bed. The pretty nurse was selling poppies from a tray. Why the fuck was she doing that anyway?
Aside from the nurse, no one else was there. The nurse went out of the room. I'm all alone now. I really need some Coca-cola right now.
Sgt. Pepper entered the room, with a basket of green apples in hand. The damn blue meanie, he knows i fucking hate green apples. Fuckwit.
"I read the news today."
"Oh boy." I knew he was joking. He NEVER reads the newspaper. He'd rather hear it from the barber on Penny Lane.
"So, how are Hal?"
"I'm in a damn hospital bed, damn it. Isn't it obvious? I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY DAMN BLOODY LIFE!" No, i wasn't using sarcasm in that remark. I really was enjoying myself in the hospital bed. Gotta get myself some relaxation. Might even start a revolution from here.
"Fuck you. Well, any developments on the Mr. Kite case?"
"Lady Madonna. That's what. Go after her. She confessed."
"On record?"
"N-no." SHIT!
"We've got nothing then. You're out of the case. Get well soon." He left the room. I couldn't say anything after that. Shit.
After a week in the hospital, i went straight home. It's been a hard days night, and i've been working like a bitch. Shit shit shit shit shit.
I lay in bed again. I give up.
to be continued.
I'm Back. (i think)
Ladies and gentlemen, i apologize for my long absence from the blogosphere. This is due to a number of reasons too many to enumerate, such as lack of proper web access and being very busy.
Do not worry dear readers, i WILL and MUST continue Collide-o-scope Eyes, as soon as i further fix things. Excited, aren't ya?
Well, i believe that is all. Everything is said, and i now bid you all farewell for now.
The Ghostwriter
Do not worry dear readers, i WILL and MUST continue Collide-o-scope Eyes, as soon as i further fix things. Excited, aren't ya?
Well, i believe that is all. Everything is said, and i now bid you all farewell for now.
The Ghostwriter
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